You didn’t care

You didn’t care when you saw me crying that time, crying over the thoughts running through my head that I didn’t understand.

You didn’t care when people noticed those marks on my arms, “you’re fine“, you said. “You’re Jasmine“.

You didn’t care when my weight began to drop, you didn’t even utter a word.

You didn’t care when my mood began to change, I became more and more distant and you just let it happen.

We stopped being friends, the reason for which I’m still unsure.

Not that I blame you, I wouldn’t want me as a friend either.

Excuses were made when it came to weekend plans, I slowly backed further into myself.

Rumours went around about what was wrong, but still you didn’t care.

Triggering comments every where, I would never be as skinny as you.

Lunch times spent all alone, the toilet cubicle became my friend.

Lessons spent panicking about whether people could smell what I’d been doing, I would hear you sniggering behind.

My mood became more and more sour, I didn’t have the energy to waste.

I was wasting away before your eyes, why didn’t you care?

I became enemy number one, I’d somehow offended everyone.

I was told you get help. But somehow that wasn’t enough?

You get help, you’re attention seeking. You’re not ill enough.

I hid behind a constant mask, I was slowly killing myself.

But isn’t it funny, suddenly you’re unwell and want my help.

I’m scrambling to put together the pieces of my life, and you’re out preaching about the importance of helping.

Every day is a living hell, a constant battle.

You didn’t care, you never cared. So why should I?